Press the Flesh
To the credit of my personal social analyst, Fred Schmidt, I dedicate this title. He is a constant reminder of the world as a whole of truths and consistently challenging your opinions on religion, love, children, sex, and of course politics. I cannot remember a single day this past year that Fred and I were in the same place and I did not learn something new, about either the world or myself. Our first meeting was at the Gate River Run in Jacksonville and he posed the following, “What is the first major world event you remember?” My answer, “I was sleeping at my cousin's house in Middleburg and my aunt woke us to watch the fall of the Wall. She said this is important and you need to remember it.” This is the kind of person Fred is. While controversial at times, he brings out the intelligence in all of us.
Yesterday while at Starbucks Fred says to Todd “you really have the ability to press the flesh.” Now those who know Freddie also know his flair for semantics to entice controversy and the ability to take a wholesome conversation to a relatively sexually fired up place. So I immediately question this “press the flesh.” Quite simply and to my surprise harmless, this idiom from the 1920s simply refers to the act of shaking hands in politics. I found this to be an interesting time for his choice of words because if there is one thing that has been a source of anxiety with the wedding, it’s the phrase that keeps popping up “the politics of the guest list.”
2 things that I want to be very clear on whilst I enter this topic. First is I am who I am because of my network support group that consists of family, friends, teachers, runners, fundraisers, lovers, and heck even passersby. I attribute my success, my happiness, and the foundation of who I am to all of you collectively and I love you for this. Second contrary to popular belief, I don’t not have a little leprechaun with a pot of gold under my staircase, or a genie in a bottle to grant me unlimited wealth, or a winning Powerball ticket (I'm actually holding out for this one).
As if Bridal magazines, advertisements and as I'm sure I will find out today, EXTRAVAGANZAS (WGV Ultimate Bridal Show, sounds like a WWE event) don’t create enough anxiety about the timing and the flowers and weather, and expectations not to mention budget, you have a select microcosm that is your circle of friends and without fail will subject you to the ultimately uncomfortable (and mostly inappropriately timed) question of “When’s the wedding?” Once a bride to be, it feels like a loaded question, "Are they assuming they are invited?" It's truly a phenomenon. What's more absurd is the feelings that are seemingly hurt when I have not even set a date yet and that same person, in the same breath will say, “Remember it's your wedding.” I haven’t experienced the full brunt of this but I can say with many friends recently married, this is ridiculous! Some of my best friends have been wed and I was not there, nor invited. And we are still friends, in some cases with a stronger bond than before. A wedding for me (and from talking to most brides) is a personal and private affair. Whether 50 or 500 guests, someone won't be invited, why must they take it so personal?
With that, I'm done talking about it. By no way is my guest list directly reflective of my whole life, rather it is a snapshot to capture the moment when we say “I do” and pour sand into a candle holder, or light 2 votives, or stomp on plates or whatever we decide to do. Please know the best is yet to come, anniversaries, babies, milestones, and the worst, people moving away, job loss, deaths. Intimacy is crucial and will be reflected in our small ceremony and reception. It is not that we don’t cherish every relationship we have, but rather that we want to afford our family this brief moment in our lives before moving on to the rest of living. With all respect in the world, if you aren’t invited it is not personal nor a slight on anyone individually.
As in the words of Jimmy Kirkham, "One Love"
Not to be outdone by Fred Schmidt “Good Luck Todd/Heather” post #14522
Wedding Plan Decisions:
Location The Tasting Room St Augustine
Date November 21st 2010
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Great insight. I love how you realize how intimate a wedding is and how it is really no one's right to be there but a privaliage. I hope you continue to remember that the most important thing is the celebration of your love w/Todd and how you two want to remember this day.
ReplyDeleteHeather you have an incredible way with words. I can't tell you how many people don't remember one the the most important days of their lives because they go caught up in the minute details. Simplify, enjoy, and cherish every single moment of this special day. :)
ReplyDelete(It is the opening page of the next chapter of your book of life)
You go girl! As a former bride, I remember how hard it was to want a simple wedding with our family and a few friends. By the time it was said and done over 300 invites were sent (over half of those were just family btw). Not everyone showed up and it was better that way. It really is your and Todd's day.
ReplyDeleteOne little tip, I myself said that I would remember our wedding day, and I do for the most part. But sometimes things get rushed through without even realizing it is happening. So I suggest finding a good friend or talking to your photographer about video-taping your ceremony as well. I am one of the few who actually DO watch their wedding DVD, and it reminds me when I'm having a tough day how blessed I am to be where I am now. My amazing husband, and all the family and friends that celebrated with us. With that said, I pray you and Todd have a very blessed marraige with many more joys than sorrows :).